Yesterday morning I went to the international book fair in Mishref’s exhibitions ground. I was book shopping all morning and by the afternoon I was quite exhausted so I went to the cafe just outside the book fair and sat at a table with two chairs, nursing my deliciously cold blended coffee drink and trying to have a moment of calm before setting off again. Suddenly, a lady with lots of people and pushing a buggy with a baby stands over me, asking if there was anyone sitting with me while eyeing the chair. A bit shocked, I do confirm that my husband is indeed -he was- so she gives me a look and goes to sit on a nearby chair with the army of people trailing behind her.
Why was I shocked? I’ve never been asked to share my table with a stranger in Kuwait before. Well, OK it happened once in restaurant a long time ago when there was a waiting list on the tables and a lady thought she would intimidate me into giving up my table by sitting with me even when I refused but thankfully the manager of the restaurant stepped in and asked her to leave, he knew I was a regular customer. I saw it happen to a couple of ladies before as well who were having breakfast and suddenly a woman decides to sit with them and they politely asked for the check and left her without finishing their breakfast. Now that it happened to me again, and after I said no, it got me thinking about it.
Is saying no considered an anti-social behaviour? In some parts of the worlds sharing your table is considered the most natural thing ever. In Switzerland for example, there is no such thing as your “personal” space in, say, trains or cafes. Having two or more people share a table and paying separately in cafes is the way to go. I actually saw an old lady once ask a couple to leave just because she wanted to drink a cappuccino and there was no empty tables, and the couple obliged promptly and with a smile! In the UK they value your personal space unless they really have to. No one would sit next to you on the train unless it’s during the rush hour and there is no other seat. No one would ask to sit next to you on a cafe unless, which happened to me only once in 30 years, its lunch time and they have no other choice but to ask to sit down.
I have to say I don’t like sharing my table/train abroad but it isn’t that bad given that the people you share it with are civilised and would bury their heads in their books or mind their own business, taking utmost care not to disturb you so the both of you could enjoy calm and peace at once. Their intent is to genuinely share the experience and not to rob you of it and force you to leave.
Had I allowed the lady with the army of people and the baby to sit on my table yesterday, and by the way she only wanted to sit there and not order anything, you could imagine the pandemonium they’d have created with total disregard to my own comfort or peace of mind. The thing is, there were plenty of empty seats right next to the tables and the tables are designated for the cafe so unless you are ordering something you shouldn’t be sitting there. I still feel a tad guilty, but not so much. The lady took her buggy and entourage to the empty seats in a heartbeat, amazing me with her audacity and prompting me to write this post. I don’t like sharing my table, even abroad, I’m not comfortable with strangers at all and I personally would never bother anyone by asking to share their own tables. It’s not their fault they got there first, especially in Kuwait.
What do you think? Do you feel comfortable sharing your own table/train seat with strangers? Does it differ to you if it’s here or abroad? Have you ever been asked to share your table in Kuwait? What would you say if you have?
Reblog: http://www.danderma.co/?p=30649&utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=would-you-let-strangers-share-your-table
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